Bald is Beautiful

The day finally came.


The day I had been anticipating since the day she was diagnosed.


They told me that I should expect it within 3 weeks. We were now at 5 months and it still hadn't happened.


But last month they told me that the Chemo she was getting this month would definitely make it happen.


My little girl was going to lose all her hair.


This was something that was really emotional for me. It made it so much more real. Up until this point we could go on our daily life without anyone really knowing she was sick. Because she looked like a healthy little three year old girl. Although, when at the hospital she stuck out like a sore thumb, being the only kid with hair. But it was something that was out of any ones control so I accepted it and planned to embrace it as positively as I could.


I went away for a couple days to visit some old friends in Portland, OR. I left on Boxing day and Jaidyn had been doing really well. She would have her bursts of energy accompanied with a brief "mommy I need to lay down" every once in a while. She'd take a quick 30 second recharge and she'd be back at whatever activity she was previously doing.

Christmas was really great this year, Jaidyn was so much fun and felt somewhat okay almost the entire time. I couldn't have asked for anything more. Except maybe that Dyson vacuum of course. 


Andrew was down for the week so it gave me the chance to take off for a few days.


The time away was great and much needed, but I missed her so much. Coincidentally as soon as I left, Jaidyn's energy became almost non existent. She spent almost the entire three days I was gone on the couch very lethargic and uncomfortable. I decided to come home early and make sure I was home for her appointment on Thursday as I figured she would need a blood transfusion.


At Thursday's appointment, her blood counts were actually quite good other than her Neutrophil's. Unfortunately those are the important ones, being the most common type of white blood cell and the cells responsible for responding to infection and attacking bacteria. Her counts being very low means her immune system is very week and any infection could be detrimental. This is why we have to pay very close attention to any fevers she may get, and could potentially be admitted to the hospital for infection over the next month.


Later that afternoon, Andrew called me and said "I think its time you bring over the hair clippers." My eyes welled up with tears and I knew it was time. Over the last three days her hair had started falling out in clumps and the back of her head was almost bald. It broke my heart.


So I sat down and talked with her about her hair and that it was okay that it was falling out all over the place. We decided to brush it as much as possible and get most of the lose hairs taken care of. It was so overwhelming for me, but I couldn't let her see me upset. So with her direction, we got out the hair clippers, the mirror, the camera and we gave her the hair cut we had been talking about for a long time.


I started it, but had uncle Tay Tay finish it. She sat there and didn't say a word, read a book as if it was no big deal. 

Once we were done she looked at herself in the mirror and the most beautiful thing happened.

She smiled.

That beautiful smile, that melts my heart.


It was then that we all looked at her and smiled. Although I had tears in my eyes, they were happy tears. I may be biased, but I think she looks pretty damn cute. 

My daughter inspires me. With everything she has gone through since August she still has that beautiful smile on her face and makes me realize everything is going to be just fine.


Thank you Jaidyn Lyric for teaching me everyday how to be strong. Stronger than I ever thought I could be.

I'll remember this day forever. 

It's about time I update this blog

So it's pretty much been forever since I've posted anything. October and November flew by, with so much going on and thankfully, Jaidyn's treatment was a breeze so there wasn't a lot to post about. But for a little recap of the events.


Jaidyn started going to ballet class on Tuesday mornings. Her physical therapist at Children's suggested I keep her as active as possible to try and eliminate the Vincristine Neuropathy which causes tightness and numbness in extremities causing her to trip quite often. This is just one of the many side effects of the Vincristine Chemo. She has special splits on order to help her not trip as much. So for now, we enjoy her ballet class. I've been waiting for this day to come since I found out I was having a girl. I'm not sure who was more excited me or her about her first ballet class. So I was sure to take lots of pictures. Her teacher is also aware of her illness and does an amazing job with her in class. I couldn't be happier.

Jaidyn's new love is FaceTime so we do that all the time now. Here she is with my parents. They look like dorks and she is less than impressed.

A friend of mine has a shop in Grandville Island called the Ocean Floor, so one day we took a drive down there to check out her rain boots she had for sale. The entire car ride Jaidyn insisted we find a lady bug umbrella, so that was on our priority list for the day. The weather was horrible, more rain then you can imagine so our shopping trip was fitting. Luckily they had wonderful lady bug umbrella's and rain boots to match. She was in Heaven.


In Keremeos, BC where Jaidyn's father Andrew lives, they were holding a fundraiser for Jaidyn which given she was doing so well in treatment, her spirits were up and so were her blood counts we decided to drive up there for the weekend and take part in the fundraiser, and have a visit with her grandparents. The fundraiser was amazing and more successful than I could have ever imagined. I cannot thank everyone who organized, helped and participated enough. I am speechless to express how loved my little girl is. It was great to see people who I hadn't seen in a while and also see Jaidyn run around the orchard, with not a care in the world. It definitely brought a smile to my face.


By the end of October, Jaidyn's hair had become really really thin and straggly looking. I'll admit this has been so hard on me, accepting that she will lose all her hair. Dr. Rod and all her nurses still can't believe that she has as much hair as she does. Because if you remember they had prepared me and told me within 3 weeks she would most likely be bald. Its been 4 months and unless you look closely its hard to notice. But in the last week of October it had become noticeable enough to me so we decided to get a hair cut. I was really quite hesitant about it since her hair had taken this long to grow and she hadn't ever had it cut. But i knew it was time. Jaidyn was really excited about it and as she was getting it done, I held back the tears. In the end her hair cut looked so great. She was so happy about it and it made her look so cute. I kinda wished I had cut it short a long time ago.

Showing off her haircut to Tay Tay

This brought us to the weekend before Halloween. Jaidyn had been doing really well and my Grandma was in town from Florida so we decided to drive up to Keremoes again for 2 days so that my Grandma could see where Jaidyn's dad lived. Its so beautiful up there I was really excited for it. Andrew built a house last year on his parents peach orchard and Jaidyn was so excited to show her Gamma her room at Daddy's house. We had a fun relaxing weekend, carved pumpkins, got her photos done by Auntie Chantal and before we knew it, it was time to go home. Before Jaidyn's diagnosis she was going up there for a week at a time almost every month. Its been really hard on Andrew's parents cause they haven't seen much of her lately. So the visit was short but sweet and everyone had a great time.

We were back home for Halloween, and I had Jaidyn's costume all ready for her to wear. The cutest little Minnie Mouse costume including yellow sparkly high heels which she picked out herself from the Disney Store. The last final minutes before its time to get ready she decides to switch it up a bit and insists she dress up as Tinkerbell. I wasn't too impressed, but we were lucky that we actually had a Tinkerbell costume from our trip to Disney in June. So Tinkerbell it is...

I wasn't sure how long she'd last walking around getting candy. Dustin and Taylor made it fun for her and dressed up themselves and went door to door. Probably made it to 20 houses and it was time to pack it in. I was really proud of her though for doing so well. She had a ton of fun.

The next day I was sure to get her in that Minnie Mouse costume at least for a picture... Funny enough she wouldn't take it off. She even slept in the high heels.

She had Chemo every 10 days over the last two months, all of which were uneventful. In a good way. We were both a little sick one day with colds so we were put into isolation for the few hours while at the clinic. That means we couldn't go to the playroom with the other kids, Jaidyn's favourite part obviously. But because Children's is so amazing, they had a wonderful volunteer come in and play with Jaidyn for three full hours. She was so soft spoken and sweet, it was actually really relaxing for me just to watch them play.

Getting ready for her "butterfly"

Making sure her Nurse cleans it correctly.

Amazing Volunteer

Jaidyn being three has really kicked it up a notch in the "testing" and mischievous stage of her life. Hiding in laundry baskets and completely unravelling two giant rolls of yarn all across our apartment. I was so mad that she did that to the yarn, but I couldn't help but laugh cause she was having so much fun. Sorry the pictures are blurry, that's how much she wouldn't sit still.

Along with hiding in laundry baskets, she also tests me by running away in Babies R Us, where I found her hiding in a port-a-crib, singing her imaginary baby to sleep.

Forts are also a big hit right now.

November was a VERY crazy month for us. Along with the continued Chemotherapy, my therapy appointments and day to day life, I was also planning and organizing a huge fundraiser at the end of the month. It was beyond stressful, and time consuming. The fact that it was my first time ever organizing something like this also made it worse. It was the last thing I needed to be doing. But I stayed positive and looked at it as something fun for me to keep my mind off of the negative things in life and hoped it would all just fall together perfectly.


And that it did! Our fundraiser for Jaidyn was a huge success! I was so happy that everything worked out the way it did. Friends, family, strangers were so helpful and generous. Jaidyn and I have never felt so loved than we did during that fundraiser. The donations were incredible, people had a great time, it was all together an awesome night. I am just so happy its done!!!


Jaidyn finished the "interim maintenance" phase of her chemo with flying colours, and we had a two week break of no medicine *insert happy dance* before we start the "delayed intensification" phase.


I know what to expect... its not going to be fun. Jaidyn will be on steroids again. She will be moody, achy, hungry, cranky and tired. All of which she was for the first month of treatment. I'm a little bit scared and nervous cause I remember what that first month was like. It was all forms of terrible. It breaks my heart watching her feel that way, but we get through it because in the end it is saving her life. And we all know I would do anything for her.


Along with the steroids she will be receiving a few more intense chemotherapy's- which will make all her hair fall out for sure. We're ready for it. We have lots of hats and headbands and nothing can stop us.


Not only is she kicking Leukemia's ass... But she's doing it in style.

The holidays will most likely be tough this year for us as we won't know exactly what mood Jaidyn will be in. It seriously changes every 30 seconds. So until then, we're taking full advantage of the good times, doing lots of crafts and Christmas baking. This year has been the most excited she has ever been over Christmas and I fully intend on making the best of it!