Bald is Beautiful

The day finally came.


The day I had been anticipating since the day she was diagnosed.


They told me that I should expect it within 3 weeks. We were now at 5 months and it still hadn't happened.


But last month they told me that the Chemo she was getting this month would definitely make it happen.


My little girl was going to lose all her hair.


This was something that was really emotional for me. It made it so much more real. Up until this point we could go on our daily life without anyone really knowing she was sick. Because she looked like a healthy little three year old girl. Although, when at the hospital she stuck out like a sore thumb, being the only kid with hair. But it was something that was out of any ones control so I accepted it and planned to embrace it as positively as I could.


I went away for a couple days to visit some old friends in Portland, OR. I left on Boxing day and Jaidyn had been doing really well. She would have her bursts of energy accompanied with a brief "mommy I need to lay down" every once in a while. She'd take a quick 30 second recharge and she'd be back at whatever activity she was previously doing.

Christmas was really great this year, Jaidyn was so much fun and felt somewhat okay almost the entire time. I couldn't have asked for anything more. Except maybe that Dyson vacuum of course. 


Andrew was down for the week so it gave me the chance to take off for a few days.


The time away was great and much needed, but I missed her so much. Coincidentally as soon as I left, Jaidyn's energy became almost non existent. She spent almost the entire three days I was gone on the couch very lethargic and uncomfortable. I decided to come home early and make sure I was home for her appointment on Thursday as I figured she would need a blood transfusion.


At Thursday's appointment, her blood counts were actually quite good other than her Neutrophil's. Unfortunately those are the important ones, being the most common type of white blood cell and the cells responsible for responding to infection and attacking bacteria. Her counts being very low means her immune system is very week and any infection could be detrimental. This is why we have to pay very close attention to any fevers she may get, and could potentially be admitted to the hospital for infection over the next month.


Later that afternoon, Andrew called me and said "I think its time you bring over the hair clippers." My eyes welled up with tears and I knew it was time. Over the last three days her hair had started falling out in clumps and the back of her head was almost bald. It broke my heart.


So I sat down and talked with her about her hair and that it was okay that it was falling out all over the place. We decided to brush it as much as possible and get most of the lose hairs taken care of. It was so overwhelming for me, but I couldn't let her see me upset. So with her direction, we got out the hair clippers, the mirror, the camera and we gave her the hair cut we had been talking about for a long time.


I started it, but had uncle Tay Tay finish it. She sat there and didn't say a word, read a book as if it was no big deal. 

Once we were done she looked at herself in the mirror and the most beautiful thing happened.

She smiled.

That beautiful smile, that melts my heart.


It was then that we all looked at her and smiled. Although I had tears in my eyes, they were happy tears. I may be biased, but I think she looks pretty damn cute. 

My daughter inspires me. With everything she has gone through since August she still has that beautiful smile on her face and makes me realize everything is going to be just fine.


Thank you Jaidyn Lyric for teaching me everyday how to be strong. Stronger than I ever thought I could be.

I'll remember this day forever.